MINDFULNESS - An Essay in Awareness

INTRODUCTION:

In mid 2013, I was diagnosed with Postrate Cancer. I kept this away from family and friends and underwent treatment secretly. In 2017, I went "WalkAbout" / Roaming. I went to back to Sydney to change my name and gender as if I was to die I wanted you be cremated as a Woman. Mind you I was in constant pain trying to walk. Imagine a red hot skewer shoved up between your legs right where that soft area is between your genital area and your anus. I also, went to reconnect with my estranged baby sister and my baptist son. I told them that I have a liver disease and "could be dying" in actual fact, the doctors gave me five years max. When I started my journey I set out on a Spirit Walk seeking Mindfulness. I think you all need to learn how to be mindful. FRIDAY, 27 JANUARY 2017 #1 - Mindfulness ~ Awareness Mindfulness is more than sucking on a Raisin (a technique used by some spiritual teachers when they start teaching mindfulness). It is not how long it takes to suck that raisin or even the texture of the raisin or the flavor of the raisin. One might ask: “Why are you even sucking that Raisin?” “Just because someone told you too?” In all honest just because someone; a teacher or a Mentor told you to be mindful of sucking a raisin … What if you don't like raisins? It could very well be a lemon that you are sucking for all that matters. Mindfulness is a very easy thing to teach oneself and become adept too and best be described as being “Aware” of everything you do; everything you say and how you say it; everyone of your actions and reactions. To be Mindfulness is be Aware of SELF. You need to be AWARE that You are the Butterfly that flaps its Wings which may cause an Earthquake in China. Recently I spent a great deal of meditation, contemplation and deep thought on this topic and came to the realization that I was being “MINDFUL”, so take that Raisin! Self-control is not only controlling your anger and hostilities ... And Yes, your Anxieties! It is not even about your own control. It is about being aware; being mindful of your environment, your actions and reactions and the best way to contain them. It is about being mindful of yourself and the events and people around you and being aware of your own triggers. SATURDAY, 28 JANUARY 2017 #2 Mindfulness - Habit, Routine & Ritual In Ritual, Mindfulness is extremely important! We are approaching a sacred rite and really need to be mindful of our intent and purpose for performing the Ritual. We have to be “Aware” and prepared to the approach and aftermath of the Ritual. If done half hazardly, arse-up and without being mindful … then, we also, should be prepared for any fallout and repercussions that the Ritual may have caused. Karma takes great joy in kicking our bottoms. Habits and Routines are daily rituals and often perform without foresight, hindsight and quite often without being mindful. If we stop for a moment and were more mindful of what we are doing, we become more aware of what we are doing and why we are doing it. Mindfulness. I, believe, that if we approached our daily routines and habitual activities much the same way as we approach sacred ritual and with the same mindfulness we can not only rid ourselves of those habits that we, ourselves, dislike but bring more meaning and structure to habits and routines that we do in a complacent manner. As an exercise try brushing your teeth with mindfulness. Don't let the mundane routines and habits become an automatic gestures without thought. The more mindful and self-aware we become the more meaning and purpose we will find in our lives and the more enriched we become. SUNDAY, 29 JANUARY 2017 #3 Mindfulness ~ Pain & Pain Control I know what pain is! Physical, Emotional and Mental. I have experienced my fair share of all three. I will not state, claim or pertain to KNOW your pain. I am an Empath and Reader and it sometimes distresses me when I “pick up” on someone’s pain and to peer into the lowered shield or barrier that people often throw up to hide their emotional hurt; psychological anxiety, angst and depression; their physical anguish and terrible pain. Personally, and this is just me, I have a great distaste when someone says to someone who is experiencing pain: ‘I understand!” or “I know how you feel.” This is NOT mindfulness or even empathy! As a social worker and highly qualified Youth Worker, I cringe whenever I hear another worker, counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist say to a client: “I understand how you feel!” “No you don’t!” I would like to say and to my “chagrin” have said, “Because you are not the person you are saying this to! You are not them! You don't know what they are thinking, the depth of their pain (anxiety, angst, physical distress). You can't possibly know how they feel!” For those who know me, know that my practices are Shamanism and Druidry. I am a Kandilini adept, a Reiki adept and a EMF (Electronic Magnetic Force) adept and being a “Sensitive”/ Empath to boot it is very hard for me to resist the temptation of throw myself at people and offering them relief. I am not a Healer, far from it. I am Shamanic which in the modern best description would be a Pharmacist. … but being “Mindful” of those people around me, I don't encroach on their privacy and tend to shield myself from their suffering unless I am invited or see and opening to discuss (if they wish) their ailment. I have set out on a search for mindfulness and every day during my journey. I am learning more about myself and the environment and people who I meet. Mindfulness, when it comes to my own pain and suffering, has shown me that how I deal and manage my own physical pain, anxieties and anguish is completely different to the next person and what works for me may not work for another. However, thus said, how we individually control and manage our own pain is our own business but I need to state, for others … Be aware (mindful) of what triggers you pain, anxiety, depression, angst and physical discomfort. Seek out alternative and natural remedies and information and research it and see if it is right for you. Be accepting and allow other to offer you support and assistance. Meditate and be Mindful of your own needs and be mindful of those in your own life who are suffering with you. They say that a healthy mind is a healthy body and if you strengthen your spirit and meditate often, be self-aware and mindful it may help. It can't hurt! WEDNESDAY, 1 FEBRUARY 2017 #4 Mindfulness ~ Through Adversity comes Strength I discovered recently that when practicing Mindfulness you can often run into difficulties when dealing with people who do not! Try as you will to be mindful of your own actions and reactions in certain situations and although, you try to be courteous and respectful of other people’s situations, behavior and space, it is sometimes very hard to keep your own composure emotions and reactions in check, when the other person or people are discourteous, disrespectful or downright rude! I don't think that there are many amongst us, who can be like Jesus “and turn the other cheek” and even walk away from a possible volatile situation or confrontation.. Even being Mindful and being aware, how do you react to someone who is treating you in such away? It is extremely difficult to be mindful to the point of hiding your emotional frustrations, and possible emotional upheaval when a fellow human being treats you like a worthless piece of shit or so disdainfully. Recently, I was placed in several situations where I was forced to NOT be emotionally upset or volatile and react with verbal or physical violence to someone who has a nasty disposition or a “stock up their arse” attitude. The best way to describe these situations are , at the very least, “Trying” causing me much angst and anxiety and if nothing else eye-opening and educational. I want to grab a couple of certain people by the throat and rip their hearts out through their mouth but being mindful of the confrontational and volatile feeling welling up within me, I chose to walk away with my head held high and at peace with my decision. I learnt this day that every situation which confronts us, good and bad, are there to test our resolve, to bring us closer to enlightenment. Mindfulness is an ongoing experience. I had to experience these bad situations so that I appreciate greatly; treasure the support that I received later that afternoon and night. FRIDAY, 3 FEBRUARY 2017 #5 Mindfulness ~ Question of Identity; Defining Ourselves Decarte philoaophised: “I think, therefore I am ...” the complex question of identity and continual search for meaning to our lives has been an eternal struggle within us all. One of the strengths of Religious acceptance is the understand and acceptance of the one true God or a central Divinity. The Christian faiths, some more liberal and less conservatives than others, doctrine preaches that only through the acceptance of Jesus and through the son, God and acceptance of the Holy Spirit within you will you find identity and meaning. Only God defines us. We may also question, whether or not we will reach our full poetential? Yet if we accept the pretext that Only God; Goddess; the Divine; the Universe defines us, our potential is limited. Further more, I believe, that we can not allow to define ourselves by the perceptions of others nor can we allow that definition to hinder the happiness we seek. We can't rely on another or others to be Happy. If we enter a relationship and rely on our partner to make us happy or even if we have entered a relationship with expectations of our happiness being fulfilled by the other party then, our expectations of that fulfilment and in fact, our happiness, is totally deflated and even destroyed if the relationship is suddenly terminated. Likewise, and especially if a person has no Spirituality or faith, who can we turn to, if our happiness was structured around our family unit and through tragic events our entire family are lost. I often envy the Christian faiths who have a deep relationship and commune with their God as I sense that although, their happiness for a long time might be shattered by such a tragic event bu their spiritual faith in there Lord holds firm if not shacked and tarnished for a period of time. Identity is how we define ourselves and if we allow others around us to define us by their perceptions and if we allow or expect them to fulfil our needs and desires and even control us … well, we mightest well give away our very Souls. Joseph S. Campbell said: “That Life is about Sorrow and it behooves all of us to follow and seek out our own Bliss.” One of my own life philosophies is: “We are the ONLY people we will ever lose or leave!” Another great philosophical quote is one by William Shakespeare: “To Thine Ownself Be TRUE!” If the Soul is eternal how can we give the most valued essence of our ownself away. We need to be strong in our own resolve and if we chose to follow a particular path and dedicate ourselves to a Deity, then, it is our own right to do so as such a spiritual relationship enhances and contributes to our Wholeness. Our Oneness. I often gringe when someone says to me: “It is not all about you … “ Excuse me, but it is all about ME! I am the centre of my Universe and all those who I love and allow into my life, are the stars, planets, moons and suns which revolve around my Universe. It is my life and the way I live it, within the boundries of Society, is up to me and my relationship with deity is my own relationship with my Divine. It starts with my heart and ends with my head and what I feel is right and true for me. If I have kindred spiritual beings who share my passion for my God/ Goddess/ Deity then I am more so blessed. I could quiet easily rattle off philosophical quotes infinitum, but I am sure that if I do so, I would very likely lose not only the gist of this post but the attention of the reader. The whole purpose of me writing these posts and articles is to record my journey; my vision quest; my dreamwalk/ spirit walk. Mindfulness is a large part of that quest and I am very aware that I would not do it justice if I was not mindful of my own identity although I am cofident that this will define me more as a person and enhance my personna and character. I am most mindful when I am writing these articles and journal post, as I do not wish to waffle or ramble on or write something that may be deemed offensive. I was truly blessed recently to be afford the kindess of many people on my journey and will write more on this in my usual journal post, the last such post is currently blank and proceeds this Article. The reason for that is that I was not being “Mindful” when I wrote it earlier this morning and shut down without saving. CONCLUSION: In conclusion, my story is one of not gaining strength or getting strong but acceptance of the most important aspect of Life. Me! If I don't love myself how can I expect others to love me? If I am not mindful of everything around me how can I be fulfilled. I have found my inner Bliss and sometimes I faulter and not act mindfully but alas, I am only Human and I fuck up. If I have erred or hurt somebody I usually apologize if not immediately, eventually as being Super Sensitive and Empathic I am extremely mindful of others reactions. On December 2017 after many years of psychological, emotional and physical suffering, I was informed that my cancer was in remission. I stopped all pharmaceutical meditation (except my HRH). It has now been 9 almost 10 months without antianxiety, anti-depression and heavy duty pain killers. I still suffer arthritic pain and migraines but I really feel younger and healthier than I have ever had for over 25 years. Namaste - Ubuntu Much Love ❤ Mish Daya Mystique Lee-Price ∆Π∆

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